Dealing With The Anger in Our Lives
I often wonder about the best way we can go about dealing with the anger in our lives. Nowadays everyone is filled with anger, not only do they brim with anger, but they also stay angry. Social media is full of posts and tweets where people are calling each other names, folks are demanding that someone be fired for what they said, folks are using more and more profanity in their everyday language. We seem to be on the verge of exploding, you can see violence erupting in almost every major city. People don’t want to talk to each other, they want to yell at each other. We get mad if someone has a different opinion about social or political issues. Relationships are breaking up; people just don’t seem to have the patience we once had. Why is everyone so angry?
That’s what I want to look at today, angry people and anger in general. What are some of the effects of anger? When we get angry, what should we avoid? Everyone gets angry at times, what can we do about it?
What are some of the effects of anger?
Anger is an emotion that takes a toll on us, physically, spiritually, and psychologically. Think about what happens when you get really angry at somebody, quite often you shut down, you don’t want to have anything to do with that person. In other words, it isolates us from others, as we read in Genesis 27:41-43, “So Esau bore a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him; and Esau said to himself, “The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob.” Now when the words of her elder son Esau were reported to Rebekah, she sent and called her younger son Jacob, and said to him, “Behold your brother Esau is consoling himself concerning you by planning to kill you.Now therefore, my son, obey my voice, and arise, flee to Haran, to my brother Laban!”
I’ve seen cases where families were broken apart by anger, where one family member was so angry with another one that the family was split apart, sometimes permanently. People become isolated, alone, and often spend time stewing in their anger and that leads them to lashing out. How many times have we seen someone snap at another person in anger? It never makes the other person more agreeable in fact it usually has the exact opposite result. The words in Proverbs 15:1 are accurate, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.” There are better ways to get your point across then yelling and screaming at someone else. This is especially true when we are dealing with our children. There are so many horrible cases of child abuse, which are caused by a parent getting angry and then lashing out at the child. It’s not effective.
Avoid disciplining a child, when you are angry Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
Take some time, calm down, and then approach the situation from a different view. Remember, when a fully grown adult stands over, berates, and hits a child, that child is often damaged for life. I am not saying you cannot discipline a child, I am saying that your discipline must be firm, and fair, so the child will learn. One way to do that is to make certain of the words we speak. In other words, watch your mouth James 3:5 “So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire!” The media is full of stories about how a person was murdered because they said the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time. Measure your words, think about what you are saying and how you are saying it. Don’t be rash.
Don’t act on impulse 1 Samuel 19:9-10, “Now there was an evil spirit from the Lord on Saul as he was sitting in his house with his spear in his hand, and David was playing the harp with his hand.Saul tried to]pin David to the wall with the spear, but he slipped away out of Saul’s presence, so that he]stuck the spear into the wall. And David fled and escaped that night.”
Everyone gets angry at times, what can we do about it?
Yes, at times, most of us will become angry, it is important that we do our best to avoid those situations where we are on the verge of anger,James 1:19-20, “This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” Each of us knows what will trigger us to anger, it might be a political statement that an acquaintance makes, it might be a tweet or Facebook post that we see. It’s important that we step back and as my mama used to say, take a deep breath and count to ten. By the time you reach ten or 50 or 100, whatever you were reacting to will most likely be off your timeline or the conversation will have moved to another topic, and you can relax. However, there are times when regardless of how high we count or how much we try we are still going to get angry.
So what can we do when we feel ourselves getting angry?
Don’t feed it, that will only encourage it to stay Ephesians 4:26, “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,” My goodness, we can all hold grudges, I know I can, I try not to harbor ill feelings, but I’m human so often I do. I have friends who when they get angry won’t call or talk to me for a month or so, because they’re angry; heck I have some friends (well, really acquaintances) who haven’t spoken to me since the 2016 election. They have no idea how I voted; they just know I didn’t tell them I was voting the same way they did. Social media is a great feeder of anger, people can hide behind their keyboards and lash out at people, call them names, and generally act as instigators, for what, for some type of satisfaction, I guess.
Talk it out with those you’re angry at Matthew 5:21-26, “You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not commit murder’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before ]the supreme court (the Sanhedrin); and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. Therefore, if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. Make friends quickly with your opponent at law while you are with him on the way, so that your opponent may not hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. Truly I say to you, you will not come out of there until you have paid up the last cent.”
That’s going to do it for now, before I go, I want to close this out with a prayer that I often use when I’m feeling anger starting to build up inside., Dear heavenly father, we live in a world that is slowly being pulled apart by forces of anger. I ask that you come into my life and help me understand those who are so angry and help me to maintain a sense of calm and to not let my anger control me. Thank you for being there for me and helping me during these times. Amen See you next time as we continue working on Living a True Christian Life –
God Bless and Peace y’all
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